It has been quite awhile since I have written in this blog. My apologies to anyone who may have been reading...
Life has been slow lately. We have been in a holding pattern almost waiting for life to move forward again. Late afternoon Thursday, we found out that a move forward scheduled for next week is once again temporarily on hold. I have been wrestling with how to handle this news. Trying to be supportive to the person who is directly affected by this news and yet reeling from the effect that it has on my own life. Even if I am only in the periphery of the effects. I guess my challenge is to try to manage the unknown and the unsure landscape. It is a real exercise in trust... Trust in a Universe that seems so large and impersonal at times. Can it be small enough to hear me? That is the ageless endless question.
I am reminded of a beautiful soul-searching song written by an LDS (latterday Saint) singer, Mindy Gledhill, "Small Enough". Here are the words (caveat: written from a very Christian point of view):
"Oh, Great God, be small enough to hear me now.
There were times when I was crying from the dark of Daniel's den;
And I have asked you once or twice if You would part the sea again.
But tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky.
Just want to know you're gonna hold me if I start to cry.
Oh great God, be small enough to hear me now.
Oh great God, be close enough to feel You now.
There have been moments when I could not face Goliath on my own.
And how could I forget we've march around our share of Jerichos.
But I will not be setting out a fleece for You tonight.
Just want to know that everything will be alright.
Oh, great God, be close enough to feel You now.
All praise and all the honor be;
To the God of ancient mysteries.
Whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history.
But tonight my heart is heavy,
And I cannot keep from whispering this prayer.
Are You there?
And I know You could leave writing on the wall that's just for me.
Or send wisdom while I'm sleeping, like in Solomon's sweet dreams.
But I don't need the strength of Samson or a chariot in the end...
Just Want to know that You still know how many hairs are on my head.
Oh, great God, be small enough to hear me now"
In this vast cosmos is there hope for the hopeless, rest for the restless? I once thought I knew the answers to these questions. I guess it is time to start asking again, time to find my answers again.