Recently I have been going through a lot of changes in my life. Life has dealt some major cards and all at the same time. I experienced recognition in my career, receiving a double promotion, and also received devastating news of loss and sadness. My 25 year old niece, Kyra, had been found dead. It looked like a suicide but there was no note or any explanation.
One of these changes, my promotion, was a result of the continued efforts and dedication that I had shown at work. I was left to wonder if I had played any part in the sudden loss of Kyra, also. I went through some of the inevitable questions that are left for the survivors of a loss like this. Could I have done anything differently that might have changed this outcome? I did have a difference to temper these thoughts though. My Stoic learning over the years kept telling me that the only one ultimately responsible for this act that ended such a bright light was Kyra, herself.
I lived my life with Kyra as I live my life with everyone who is important to me, never leave them without them knowing how much you love them and that they matter. I will never make sense or know exactly what happened in Kyra's mind to cause her to take this action, but I have no guilt over my relationship with her. I will not allow the ending action of her life to take away all of the wonderful moments and memories that I have with her. The present and future are now places that no longer have Kyra in them but the light of her memory will continue to shine.