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Saturday, December 16, 2017

Back at my Post

Recently I have been going through a lot of changes in my life.  Life has dealt some major cards and all at the same time.  I experienced recognition in my career, receiving a double promotion, and also received devastating news of loss and sadness.  My 25 year old niece, Kyra, had been found dead.  It looked like a suicide but there was no note or any explanation.

One of these changes, my promotion, was a result of the continued efforts and dedication that I had shown at work.  I was left to wonder if I had played any part in the sudden loss of Kyra, also.  I went through some of the inevitable questions that are left for the survivors of a loss like this.  Could I have done anything differently that might have changed this outcome?  I did have a difference to temper these thoughts though. My Stoic learning over the years kept telling me that the only one ultimately responsible for this act that ended such a bright light was Kyra, herself. 

I lived my life with Kyra as I live my life with everyone who is important to me, never leave them without them knowing how much you love them and that they matter.  I will never make sense or know exactly what happened in Kyra's mind to cause her to take this action, but I have no guilt over my relationship with her.  I will not allow the ending action of her life to take away all of the wonderful moments and memories that I have with her.  The present and future are now places that no longer have Kyra in them but the light of her memory will continue to shine.