Today is the birthday of one of my mentors in life, an example of the Stoic Sage in many facets of life, my Father. William Arthur Lindley was a human being, and although he would say he had faults, I honestly don't remember many. Some times he could have a bad temper but he would have to be extremely provoked and another person would never feel the brunt of it. He controlled his temper and ruled it with an iron fist. Someone who was not as closely connected would never have known that he had poked the fire of dad's ire and come very close to being burned.
Dad was a loyal husband, adored my mother and always referred to her as his best friend and the love of his life, a patient and loving father, and a cherished friend. His memorial service, after a six month struggle with a brain tumour, was standing room only. They were actually standing in the hallways of the funeral home in order to hear the service. I am sure that Dad would have been surprised by the effect his brief life in Canada (26 years) had on so many people.
After being made "redundant" by his firm at the age of 45, Dad decided to sell everything and move half way across the world to Canada. He had tried to find an equivalent position in England but the economy was in a slump and executive jobs were hard to come by. When we came to Canada a job offer from Lennox was in the works but Dad, taking one look at the large metropolis of Toronto, came to the decision that it was not an environment that he wanted to raise his girls in. Dad took the job that was available to him as a janitor on the maintenance staff of Sir Sandford Fleming in order to keep his family in a smaller city with some relatives around them. Dad often said there was no shame in doing whatever job was necessary in order to pay the bills and put food on the table. Dad proceeded to make a job for himself at the college working his way up to a position that used his air conditioning/heating engineer skills, becoming the Environmental Engineer for all of the campuses.
Dad treated everyone he met equally no matter their race, creed, or economic circumstances. Whenever I was nervous about meeting someone important my Dad would say, "They get up in the morning and put their pants on one leg at a time, love. The same as everyone else." He taught me to focus on everyone's common humanity rather than status or lack of it. I learned to always take a breath before reacting in anger and to not hold grudges, "It's all water under the bridge..." I learned to think carefully before acting on something, "Measure twice, cut once." I learned to resolve any differences with my loved ones, "Never go to bed angry." I also learned that material goods, while nice, were not the most important thing in life, "There's no pockets in a shroud."
My Dad was a spiritual seeker who kept an open mind about most things and believed that true spirituality was found in kindness toward your fellow man and all living creatures. Dad loved nothing more than watching a magnificent sunset, staring at a starry night on a summer evening, and marveling at a flock of geese in flight against a vibrant dawn sky.
My Dad taught me that I was unique, beautiful and most of all that I was loved unconditionally. I miss my father every day but, with the memories and time that we were blessed to spend together, I have a rich store of experiences to replay on day's like today when I miss him more than usual.
I love you Dad!
Musings of a modern day Stoic... This is a daily journal on life, the Universe and everything from a practicing Stoic woman's perspective.
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Thursday, October 20, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Not sure what to write...
It's a grey and windy day outside... I am echoing the weather with my mood today and trying to fight it off. Having a hard time focusing on much lately... found out last night that EI is much less than we thought so we will hopefully have a solution or solutions to our financial deficit before the Yuletide season starts.
It is a strange place to be in having not really had any real financial worries in years really. We are very rich in the most important things though, family, pets and friends. :) As long as I have my husband and my children all else is gravy.
It is a strange place to be in having not really had any real financial worries in years really. We are very rich in the most important things though, family, pets and friends. :) As long as I have my husband and my children all else is gravy.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Back to it...
Yesterday I didn't write in my blog. I guess, I was feeling a bit down yesterday and chose to wallow for the day. I am human and I guess the shock of last week was starting to catch up with me. The Stoic reading for today was definitely applicable:
When we are disappointed and depressed over what life has handed to us, it is because we put value on the wrong things. We held too much importance in things rather than valuing our character above all else.
This morning I got up, emptied the dishwasher, loaded the dishwasher and had breakfast with my hubby and daughter. Time to start planning for the future, making the best decisions to allow more freedom to adjust and make changes. Life is certainly never boring and the sun is shining! :)
Today is a day for banking, checking mail, etc. and running some errands. Tonight we are out for supper with good friends. :) All in all a good day ahead of us.
FOR, amidst perturbations and griefs and fears, and disappointed desires and incurred aversions, how can there be any entrance for happiness? And, where there are corrupt principles, there must all these things necessarily be.
EPICTETUS. DISCOURSES. Book iii. §22. ¶6.
When we are disappointed and depressed over what life has handed to us, it is because we put value on the wrong things. We held too much importance in things rather than valuing our character above all else.
This morning I got up, emptied the dishwasher, loaded the dishwasher and had breakfast with my hubby and daughter. Time to start planning for the future, making the best decisions to allow more freedom to adjust and make changes. Life is certainly never boring and the sun is shining! :)
Today is a day for banking, checking mail, etc. and running some errands. Tonight we are out for supper with good friends. :) All in all a good day ahead of us.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Where Do We Go From Here?
Today's Stoic reading reminded me of the necessity to act to change our circumstances, situation, or "world" ourselves. We are responsible for what we perceive as important in life. If we are unhappy with our current situation we must do the work in order to change it. We need to have a Vision and then break that Vision down into manageable Goals that are necessary in order to have the possibility of that Vision. The Goals are in our control and achievable, the Vision, while out of our control, is the "big picture dream" that we wish to end up with at the end of our Goals. As my mother-in-law said to my husband when he was growing up, reach for the moon and at the very least you will end up amongst the stars.
Good words to ponder on a rainy Friday morning. :)
Good words to ponder on a rainy Friday morning. :)
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Out of the blue life changes
Life has taken one of those turns that you just don't see coming today. My husband was laid off after working steadily in his field for 14 years. Now we take some time and rethink and figure out where we go from here. He was given a decent severance package so we aren't in immediate need so we can take some time to figure out things.
Our Stoic principles definitely came into play. This is a situation that is not in our control. The only thing that is in our control is how we handle this news, where we plot our course to for the future. As I have frequently said today, "it's all good" and "we have a lot of different options".
Well I am beat and I am heading to bed. Talk to you all in the morning.
Our Stoic principles definitely came into play. This is a situation that is not in our control. The only thing that is in our control is how we handle this news, where we plot our course to for the future. As I have frequently said today, "it's all good" and "we have a lot of different options".
Well I am beat and I am heading to bed. Talk to you all in the morning.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Appearances are not only deceiving but are unimportant
TO live happily is an inward power of the soul, when she is affected with indifference, towards those things that are by their nature indifferent.
MARCUS AURELIUS. MEDITATIONS. Book xi. 15
Today's reading from Words of the Ancient Wise involved three separate readings all dealing with appearances and how they are indifferents. Our moral compass must be set on virtues to find its heading, not appearances. Appearances can be easily changed to make them appear different than the reality of the situation really is. We can be "photoshopped" to appear thinner, and younger than we actually are. Humans can also use various techniques, press, lying, etc. to make ourselves appear to be different than we really are. How many criminals and serial killers have evaded capture by using these techniques.
Although it is nice to have a good public reputation it is much more important to be able to face ourself in the mirror and know that we have no blemishes or hidden facets in our moral character. To Thine Own Self Be True is the best adage to live by. When we fool ourselves and others we are only hurting ourselves and denying ourselves the joy of being completely free. The joy of loving one's self and accepting who we are is an elusive quality in this complicated world that we live in. Let's decide what our "best" self looks like and strive to be true to that "best" self in this life. Building the moral framework and foundation to "be" the best self that we can be. Someone who is able to greet the world without a mask, able to be truly honest with self and all others. Honesty is a wonderful goal to take the rest of our lives to achieve.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Flourishing
Today's reading was all about finding happiness in life and flourishing. I had many moments of deep happiness over the weekend visiting my family. One of my happiest moments was actually visiting my Father and Godmother's memorial sites with my Mum and husband. It was a perfect, peaceful, autumn Sunday morning. My mum and I sat for awhile, after having placed some flowers at their sites, and enjoyed the beauty of the day. Reminiscing about both of them and knowing that they would have loved the weather. Although both are deeply missed, their love and lives made a huge impact and they are remembered for the places they both took in our hearts and lives.
I had the opportunity to see a lot of my family this weekend, mother, sisters, brother-in-laws, nephews and nieces. The family is growing with lots of little ones to carry on for us when we are gone. The wonder of life was renewed within me. I have a renewed bounce in my step and a new determination to seize each day and embrace the wonder of life here on earth.
Blessings of harvest to all!
I had the opportunity to see a lot of my family this weekend, mother, sisters, brother-in-laws, nephews and nieces. The family is growing with lots of little ones to carry on for us when we are gone. The wonder of life was renewed within me. I have a renewed bounce in my step and a new determination to seize each day and embrace the wonder of life here on earth.
Blessings of harvest to all!
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