To be a Horse or not to be a Horse

This morning's reading was a passage from Epictetus about being true to our individual nature.  So this is the challenge in our modern world. To find out what makes us truly ourselves and to do that. So many of us are birds trying to be horses or horses trying to be dogs...

What makes us uniquely US and how do we bring that to the world?  


Our roles in life change with time and life's seasons.  Mothering was a priority in my life for the past 20+ years and now, although I will always be a mother, that role has taken a back seat with my children growing into adulthood and carving out their own lives.  My role of wife is back to the forefront of my priorities, that is easy to do, but the role of ME also has to be brought back to the front.  I need to start taking a starring role in my life once again.  I need to figure out what makes me tick, what is my "best" self, and start nurturing that person's growth again.  Making that growth a priority again so that I can enrich my life, my family and the world around me with my individual gifts.  I know that bringing this ancient wisdom back from the shadows of obscurity and academia is a shared goal with Michel.  While accomplishing this goal I have a unique viewpoint to discuss, that of a Stoic Woman in our modern society.  Although I am a firm proponent of equality between men and women, I do personally feel that there are innate differences in how the two sexes view life, etc.  One of my main goals in my life moving forward is to represent the point-of-view of a modern woman approaching life from a Stoic's purpose and outlook.


I know that I excel at keeping a house and making it a home.  I excel at hospitality also.  These skills are definitely part of my stoic outlook moving forward.  Living according to Nature is the Stoic ideal.  This to me encourages me to make efforts to become self-sufficient and moving back to basics where diet and household management are concerned.  Keeping the stoic ideals in mind involves planning gardens for next year, ensuring that we are nurturing and embracing nature's bounty.  The focus on living a life in harmony with nature involves taking the necessity for workspace and storage into consideration for the home renovations also.  The need for an alternative heat source in the winter is part of our requirements for living as self-sufficient as possible.  Using our suburban lot effectively and ensuring that an esthetic and peaceful calm is also built into the designs.  


It seems that I need to be a designer.  I need to take on the role of architect/designer for my life and home.  This is the adventure for the next little while.  Wish me luck as I document this journey!  :)

My reactions to outside circumstances...

The past couple of days have been tough ones... lots of stress from clients and some stress at home.  The weather is also not conducive to positive thoughts, being wet and miserable.  I am definitely being challenged to keep a positive attitude in the face of the gloomy weather.  Yesterday Michel and I worked together to change what could have been a disastrous situation into a good.  We also made a realistic decision to cancel our Harvest celebration due to bad weather and the lack of interior space to accommodate even the "for sure" attendees not to mention the "maybe"s.  I dislike feeling like I am letting people down in any way but, in reality, it was the best decision to make with a number of attendees having mobility issues etc.  Damp and cold weather is just not good for aching muscles and bones.

Today I am going to have some warm soup for lunch and get to scanning financial records for my client.  Once more into the breach!  :)

Back to home and busyness...

I had a wonderful last camping weekend of the year this weekend past.  The tents and equipment will all be packed away for another year.  The evenings were extremely cold even with our extra duvets and the camp cots off of the floor of the tent.  I think we will need to find a better solution so that we can pack everything into a trailer or something and leave it all together so that getting out for weekends will be much less of an ordeal.

Tonight we are visiting with close friends and then tomorrow night we have our last Live Stoic workshop for the month of September.  I am taking it easy and being kind to myself today as my body is feeling some after effects of camping in cold and damp.  Muscles are achey and throat is scratchy...  Nothing that can't be cured with warm liquids and sleeping in our comfortable bed.  Sleep was an elusive thing last night though, waking up twice in the night and even staying up for an hour or so at one point.  I really did sleep better out at Raven's Knoll, even though it is duck hunting season and the hunters shots could be heard quite early in the morning.  Poor ducks!  Michel mentioned that the fact that the hunters kept shooting was probably a good indicator that they were missing... LOL!  That made me feel a little better somehow.  I know people who hunt for food and that I don't have a problem with but the "hunting as a sport" without a need bothers me.

We had a wonderful time visiting with old friends and making new ones this weekend.  Our campsite became a Village where everyone was welcome.  Food stretched to accomodate everyone and hopefully everyone was made to feel welcome.  The Stoic session we gave on our connections to each other and the universe seemed to go over very well.  All in all an excellent and enjoyable weekend.